how (to try) to keep your sh*t together
Being a parent makes it feel impossible to keep my sh*t together…or try to keep my sh*t together. It’s my disorganized purse, or being late to an appointment, or trying to self-regulate while my child is screaming. Keeping my sh*t together can feel like an absolute joke with a very active toddler. (I admit - I made a cringey vision board on Pinterest for the new year). After self-regulating my emotions, my toddler’s emotions, cooking, tidying, and finding time to eat, I can barely even think, let alone mimic the outfits on my cringey Pinterest board.
BUT, having spent two decades of my career in a high-paced industry, I’ve learned a thing or two about efficiency - the golden word of the workplace as a millenial in the 2000s. I’ve been with Daniel as his primary caretaker for most of his life with significant postpartum depression and I know how it feels to drown in your own mess, emotionally and physically. I couldn’t control the witching hour. I couldn’t control his cluster feeds. I couldn’t control so much. But there were a few things I could manage, like decluttering, meal planning, and creating little hacks to try to keep my sh*t together. While being efficient didn’t fix my depression, I felt I was organized just enough to have the energy and bandwidth to be present with my child. You don’t need to be a master organizer to find your own system and rhythm that works for you in parenthood. Unlocking this idea kept my postpartum depression from robbing me any more energy and time from my son than it already had.
Okay let’s get to it because no one has any time to dilly dally. Here are some tips on how I stay organized in an attempt to keep my sh*t together.
Meal Plan: Join the Mikado free membership to get access to my favorite easy, low-maintenance meals for your family. Disclaimer: I am not a chef but I love to cook. There are plenty of qualified folks out there with amazing recipes that I love to use. If you would like to hire a personal chef, postpartum chef, or need some assistance with food delivery services, I can help you find the right people.
Vegan? Gluten free? Baby just starting solids? Picky eaters at home? Experienced cook? Inexperienced cook? Allergies? I can provide any type of substitution you need. Email me directly and I can share with you some options.
Embrace your limits: there are just some afternoons that I choose not to fight my toddler’s tantrums and embrace the last wake window without any plans. There are also days where we need to get things done. I give myself grace to know when to let things go and prioritize. I have a tendency to want to push through my to-do list but I have to remind myself that life isn’t a race to get my list completed.
DECLUTTER. I cannot emphasize this enough. When you have too much sh*t, that’s a lot of sh*t to tidy up. Less is more in this case.
Recognize the difference between donating, posting on Buy Nothing facebook groups, and reselling. Reselling takes significantly more time (taking the picture, writing the description, managing the communication and ghosting of people, arranging pick up/drop off, payment, etc.) Your time is money. Make sure reselling is worth it to you. If not, donate it or give it to a friend in need.
Create routines where you can so there’s less mental load required to execute. For example, I have a system for Daniel’s breakfast and lunches. For breakfast, I rotate between three menus. For lunch, this is the typical breakdown for the week. (Side note: I have a slightly picky eater). I don’t have to spend time thinking about what to make because it’s like muscle-memory for my mom brain.
Monday - hummus + savory snack + fruit
Tuesday - muffin + savory snack + fruit
Wednesday - pancake + savory snack + fruit
Thursday - pasta salad + savory snack + fruit
Friday - smorgasbord (cheese, fruit, bunny cookies, etc)
Create systems that are pre-made so you don’t have to scramble last minute/allows you to be flexible. For example, I keep separate toys for restaurants that he only plays with when we go out to eat. It keeps the novelty there and I can leave it in the car. Another example, I keep a ziploc of his toiletries for trips so I never need to repack them or unpack them.
One of the things I’ve learned is creating systems that build efficiency in my life as a parent. Bonus points if you are able to delegate these to someone close-by. If you find yourself struggling to delegate, I hear you. That was me. And I can help. Reach out to me if you need some support and I’ll be happy to figure something out with you.
Your mom friend,
Cathy
